I'm Sorry, But You're Delicious
by Invader Zira
Summary: Weird and crazy oneshot. Read if you are seriously bored. Better explanation inside.


I'm Sorry, But You're Delicious (Or "The Lure Of The Dee-licious Cherry Pie"-you pick): An Invader Zim Story

A weird and stupid one-shot. Read if you're extremely bored. Better explanation inside. 

AN-I decided to write this after seeing the most disturbing thing ever- the Bloody Gir picture. This thing seriously freaked me out. If you want to see it, I think you can either Google it or go to Wikipedia, type in Invader Zim, and scroll down to where it should be in "Trivia". To calm myself down, I tried thinking it was cherry pie filling. How did it get on him? Read on!

It was a normal day on this primitive Earth rock, and Gir was hungry. It started when he was flipping through the channels and landed on the Food channel-"You love food. You must eat some now. Eat or die!" After which the commercial showed a delicious looking cherry pie.

As if in a trance, little Gir headed to the kitchen.

"Must have pie."

He grabbed a chair to help him get to the cabinet and got out some flour, vanilla extract, and a bowl. He went to the fridge to get milk, butter, eggs, and a chilled jar of maraschino cherries. He dragged the chair back to the table where he set everything. Then he threw everything, even the shells of the eggs, in the bowl and started to mix it all with his hands.

"Do dee do dee do dee do!" he sang in his chipper manner.

After he was sure the pie crust was mixed, he went back to get a pie tin and put a thick layer of it inside, took the cherries he put aside and filled up the rest of the tin, and then put another thick layer on top of the whole mess. Gir threw the pie in the oven and went in the living room to wait for it to cook, and made it back just in time to catch the Angry Monkey Show. (That horrible monkey!)

While watching TV, Gir had completely forgotten about his pie. It was only until a thin wisp of smoke came out from the kitchen and went under his nose that he smelt the slightly burned pie and remembered he was hungry.

"Yay! I is gon' eat some pie!"

He took the pie out of the oven and realized that the pie tin was _burning hot_. He switched it from hand to hand for a few seconds before he registered that he should put it down. He threw it up on the counter and rushed to the kitchen sink to run his hands under some cold water.

After nursing his owies, he decided that the pie was cool enough to eat, so he went to the counter to get it down, _sans_ chair since the pie was at the edge anyway.

And just as he was reaching for the pie, Zim came storming through the door, breathless after being chased by Dib, who was now pounding at the door.

"I'll get you, Zim! I'll get you if it's the last thing I ever do! You won't get away with this because soon everyone will know the truth!" It sounded like Dib wouldn't give up until he got inside.

The noise made Gir jump, and the pie went up high (hee, hee! Nice rhyme, huh?), and did not one, not two, but _three_ full flips in the air before landing crust-side on his head.

Poor little Gir. As the cherries started to drip everywhere, he actually started to cry, his big eyes turning red and clashing with the cherry filling. And could you blame the poor little guy? All of his hard work had added up to zip, nothing, _nada_. When he should have been enjoying a nice slice of cherry pie, he was wearing it instead.

"Gir! What is the meaning of this! What is this red…_stuff_ you're covered in? And what is this salty discharge coming from your eyes? Answer me!"

"I was just trying to make me a nice snack, and I set it on the counter to cool, but then you came rushing in, and you were loud, so you scared me, so I dropped the pie, and it landed on me, and now… I'M COVERED IN CHERRY PIEEEEE!" Gir ended screaming and allowed himself to wail like a baby.

"Cherry pie?" Zim asks himself as he eyes the red, sticky cherry filling that covered Gir. Zim experimentally dips a finger in the stuff and tastes it, expecting to gag on it. Surprisingly, the filling doesn't make him sick and it actually tastes pretty good. For once, one of Gir's culinary creations turned out right.

"MMM! Delicious." Zim says, a look of pleasant surprise on his face.

Just as Zim is about to dip another finger in the glop, both Zim and Gir hear a _thunk _and turn around to see Dib on the floor. He must have gotten in through the window somehow.

"What are you doing to your robot?" Dib asks, a look of shock on his face.

"Quit your questions, sneaky Earth-bug. He is only delicious." Zim replied.

"Delicious?"

"Yeah, Dib, didn't you hear? Taste me, I'm delicious!" Gir says, now smiling.

After tasting Gir for himself, Dib is enjoying Gir too. Until Gaz stepped in as well.

"Dib! Dad says you have to come with us to Bloaty's Pizza Hog, and I will not miss another Monday there because of you."

"Gaz, wait a minute; you have got to taste Zim's robot. The cherry goodness…"

"I _guess_ I could try a little," she said. And then she was feasting off of Gir with a spoon.

Finally, Gir decided to say something.

"Hey! Y'all need to quit eatin' cherries off of me! This is sick!"

"We're using spoons!" Gaz said in their defense.

"Yeah. We're not getting germs on you. We're helping you clean up the mess." Dib added.

"_Well_, when you put it that way…" Gir said to himself. He tried a little bit of his treat and was happy that he had made others happy as well. Maybe he should bake more often…


End file.
